It’s FIVE MINUTE FRIDAY. Just write for five minutes with no changes, corrections, etc and link to lisajobaker.com

Unloading the dishwasher thinking about things I really would prefer not to think about but then it turned into a conversation with God. Maybe more like a whining to God but it brought me to the point of saying, “I don’t have any more answers for anything.” Please take me over Lord completely.” Why do I not let myself surrender totally? I think I do each time I get those little revelations about things I’m grappling with and holding onto but why do I  go to that land of regret– can’t live there because it’s too hard to exist. That is when I want to say “I abide in you and you abide in me.” Being someone who wants EVERYONE to be happy I find myself languishing in their pain. Must be from growing up with an ill Mother. I always felt like her caretaker and it was my responsibility to make sure things ran smooth for her. I wasn’t important but I was needed. Funny way to think of yourself but not a real happy way to think of yourself.