I haven’t written in a few days because I didn’t want to write something just to write it. I do have another blog that I write on random things but this blog is special to me because it is kind of where I meet with God about my “issues” so to speak . I guess you could say it’s kind of like lying on the therapist’s couch but I don’t have to pay–in money that is. I woke up this morning with intensive pain–so intense that I felt sick to my stomach. Part of it was because I didn’t get up and take my pain meds and was trying to defy things by staying in bed I guess—could be the damp weather also because I suffer with back and neck degeneration and dampness does make things worse–or the other part was I guess Iwas just being lazy and now I was having to “pay” for it. Whatever the reasons I immediately fell into discouragement. I felt had been doing so well and getting stronger and now here I was again just trying to move around and struggling with it so much. I hate discouragement in the worse way because if we don’t tackle it head on quickly it leads to other things that start with the letter “d” such as disappointment and depression or maybe they come in different orders but it seems these three pests are always lurking together. So I immediately thought to myself that I can give in to this or I can seek out my “therapist”, God, for some encouragement and maybe some tools to handle these disturbing (there’s another “d” word) attacks to my body and my soul as well. In the meantime, that pest who seems to sit on my shoulder started whispering things in my ear such as, “You might as well give up, you’re never gonna be able to conquer this.” “Don’t even try.” At that moment my phone rang and while I was battling this pest I was getting a message of encouragement from a dear sweet friend who has suffered much more than I have in life and it brought me back to my senses, so to speak. Her voice was encouragement to me. God used her voice to help me realize that I have to keep fighting this battle that can be so easy to give into. 1 Thessalonians 5:11 says, “Therefore, encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.” The last part of this verse tells me that as she encouraged me I am to encourage her. I have been lax in that part and I ask for forgiveness there. Where I am leading in this post today I’m not sure as my mind is a bit foggy with pain but I do know that I was encouraged by a sister in the faith, and I have asked for forgiveness for giving in to the accuser’s words for that minute before this call of encouragement. I am going to try to live a positive “D” word today and that is the word “Determine/Determined.” I will “determine” to push through this to the other side but not in my own strength but in His.
“Lord I determine to overcome this challenge in my life but only through you.” Amen
In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps. Proverbs 16:9